Programming Is Like Sex ◰ « Cambrian House Party
» Leaving Hostway

2006-07-08 16:58
Life: humor
34 comments

because…

One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)
Once you get started, you’ll only stop because you’re exhausted.
It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you’re doing.
Conversely, there’s some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
You can do it for money or for fun.
If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you’re some kind of freak.
It’s not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
There’s not enough taught about it in public school.
It doesn’t make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
Some people are just naturally good.
But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you’re wasting your time trying to tell them.
There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
It’s a great way to spend a lunch break.
Everyone acts like they’re the first person to come up with a new technique.
Everyone who’s done it pokes fun at those who haven’t.
Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
You’ll miss it if it’s been a while.
There’s always someone willing to write about the only right way to do things.
It doesn’t go so well when you’re drunk, but you’re more likely to do it.
Sometimes it’s fun to use expensive toys.
Other people just get in the way.

Comments

          int main(int argv, char *argc[]){       
              printf("%s", "that was awesome");
              return 0;
          }

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DIM x AS INTEGER
DIM msg AS STRING
msg = "That was cool" &amp; VbCrLf
msg = msg &amp; "By the way, VB totally sux"
MsgBox msg, vbInformation, "Insert title here"

brainfuck says:

2006-07-09 at 07:19

– begin brainfuck –

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.
>
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.
.
>
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.
Matthias says:

2006-07-09 at 07:50

Hi there,
great analogy. I’ve posted a German translation in my weblog. Hope you don’t mind. Don’t know why the trackback wasn’t working. Find the translation at http://matblog.de/index.php?/archives/219-Programmieren-ist-wie-Sex.html
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.method static void Main() cil managed
 {
  .entrypoint
  ldstr "hahah, good one!"
  call void [mscorlib]System.Console::WriteLine(string)
  ret
 }

CompHobbyist says:

2006-07-09 at 12:38

org 100h
start:
mov ah, 9
mov dx, offset msg
int 21h
mov ax, 4c00h
int 21h

msg db ‘that is pretty funny’, 0Dh, 0Ah, ‘$’
end start

#!/usr/local/bin/ruby
 
puts "Heh, indeed."

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Orgasm says:

2006-07-09 at 18:30

c:\>
debug
n orgasm.com
a 100
mov ax,0013
int 10
mov ax,a000
mov es,ax
xor di,di
mov ax,2828
mov cx,7f00
rep stosw
xor ax,ax
int 16
mov ax,0004
int 10
ret
rcx
ff
w
q
orgasm
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Gore Khan says:

2006-07-10 at 01:30

=> Experts claim it’s best done in pairs, but a lot of people claim they can’t find the right partner for that, and prefer to go it alone.

=> It goes better if you wait til the kids are asleep first.

=> There exist electronic tools specifically designed to help you, and they may save time, but it’s, uh, just not the same…

=> Some people insist on planning it; others think it’s best just to make it up as you go along.
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Kerberos says:

2006-07-10 at 10:29

You may forgot to add this —

Size doesn’t matter but tricks are important.
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#!/usr/bin/python
name = "Peter Harkins"
def funny(name):
       print """That was fukin hilarious,
                    Great job %s""" % (name)
funny(name)

v. says:

2006-07-13 at 01:14

Oh, I disagree with the last one. If you’re about to try something completely new and totally kinky, a threesome is the best way to get into it :)
Some random guy says:

2006-07-21 at 12:21

Wow, I never knew that… but you do know that there are ways that programming is NOT like sex, right…

1. Programming requires a computer. Sex does not.
2. Sex does not help you finish your computer class midterm. (If there is such a thing…)
3. Programming cannot make babies.
4. etc..

And for the record, here are a few more similarities:

– They both invoke personal pleasure if you’ve done it before a few times.
– Bigger and longer means better in both cases. (For men only, Women definitely should not…)
– They both involve science.
– They are both addictive.

while !kids.sleep(): pass
 
for p in partners(3):
   print "ungh %s" % (p)
 
print "ahh"

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ko says:

2006-08-24 at 07:06

You should do it bug free
BC says:

2006-09-08 at 08:19

Sex is like programming because everybody thinks they do it better than anybody else.
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Andrew says:

2006-09-25 at 19:03

Have you heard these:

Programming is like teenage sex because-

They talk about it more than they do it

Everybody thinks everyone else is doing it more than them but aren’t

When they try doing it they aren’t as good as they thought
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Pipedreamergrey says:

2006-11-14 at 02:05

Awsome. I’ve printed this up and posted it on my wall. After a week of reading and re-reading it, I wrote my own version, “Blogging is a lot like Sex…” . Check it out, it’s pretty funny, too.

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Programming Is Like Sex ◰ « Cambrian House Party » Leaving Hostway 2006-07-08 16:58 Life: humor 34 comments

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Programming Is Like Sex ◰ « Cambrian House Party
» Leaving Hostway

2006-07-08 16:58
Life: humor
34 comments