Programming Is Like Sex «




  1. Dim x as Integer
    Dim msg as String
    msg = "That was cool" & VbCrLf
    msg = msg & "By the way, VB totally sux"
    MsgBox msg, vbInformation, "Insert title here"

  2. – begin brainfuck –


  3. .method static void Main() cil managed
    ldstr "hahah, good one!"
    call void [mscorlib]System.Console::WriteLine(string)

  4. org 100h
    mov ah, 9
    mov dx, offset msg
    int 21h
    mov ax, 4c00h
    int 21h

    msg db ‘that is pretty funny’, 0Dh, 0Ah, ‘$’
    end start

  5. c:\>
    a 100
    mov ax,0013
    int 10
    mov ax,a000
    mov es,ax
    xor di,di
    mov ax,2828
    mov cx,7f00
    rep stosw
    xor ax,ax
    int 16
    mov ax,0004
    int 10

  6. => Experts claim it’s best done in pairs, but a lot of people claim they can’t find the right partner for that, and prefer to go it alone.

    => It goes better if you wait til the kids are asleep first.

    => There exist electronic tools specifically designed to help you, and they may save time, but it’s, uh, just not the same…

    => Some people insist on planning it; others think it’s best just to make it up as you go along.

  7. You may forgot to add this —

    Size doesn’t matter but tricks are important.

  8. #!/usr/bin/python
    name = "Peter Harkins"
    def funny(name):
    print """That was fukin hilarious,
    Great job %s""" % (name)

  9. Oh, I disagree with the last one. If you’re about to try something completely new and totally kinky, a threesome is the best way to get into it :)

  10. Wow, I never knew that… but you do know that there are ways that programming is NOT like sex, right…

    1. Programming requires a computer. Sex does not.
    2. Sex does not help you finish your computer class midterm. (If there is such a thing…)
    3. Programming cannot make babies.
    4. etc..

    And for the record, here are a few more similarities:

    – They both invoke personal pleasure if you’ve done it before a few times.
    – Bigger and longer means better in both cases. (For men only, Women definitely should not…)
    – They both involve science.
    – They are both addictive.

  11. while !kids.sleep(): pass

    for p in partners(3):
    print "ungh %s" % (p)

    print "ahh"

  12. Sex is like programming because everybody thinks they do it better than anybody else.

  13. Have you heard these:

    Programming is like teenage sex because-

    They talk about it more than they do it

    Everybody thinks everyone else is doing it more than them but aren’t

    When they try doing it they aren’t as good as they thought

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