disharkins

Chicagoese for ‘this Harkins’, contrariness in that ‘dis’ means ‘not’. Amusing anagrams like ‘radish sink’ and ‘I risk hands’.

malharkins / harkinsprop

Riffs on my old usage of ‘malaprop’ as a handle.

preterharkins

Preter- echos the hyper- prefix that used to be faddishly applied to everything Internet. Only a letter away from my name, which is good and bad.

yharkins

Aweomsely archaic y-, now really only known in the Scrabble-valuable ‘yclept’, meaning ‘to name’ (you could choke on all the meta in this post). Also looks like a question. A little potential for collision, though there aren’t many first names starting with Y.

harkinsant / harkinsarian

Means ‘a person who’, as in servant or librarian.

They’re all Googlenopes except yharkins, which got one use a few years ago on a soon-offline fan forum.

Barring any last-minute wildcards (feel free to suggest), I’m going to go with one of these handles. Please post a comment to let me know which you like or dislike.